Fighting an imaginary battle

I realized this week that I've been wasting so much time in my faith fighting against something that isn't really there. There have been times in the last few years that I have had to stand up for who I am in regards to being a different sort of Christian (tattoos, pipe smoking, moderate beer drinking etc). For some reason I'm still on the defensive all the time even though there isn't really anyone attacking me. Instead of investing my energy into knowing God more and learning more I'm always just picking up the same argument and adressing these non-existent persecutors. So my challenge to myself is to open up more to learning and experiencing rather than arguing and defending. Another step for me is to stop sitting still and just relying on the things I'm good at or areas of faith I'm secure in. I need to work on my areas of weakness rather than simply ignoring them of keeping them in the weakness column. Things like compassion, empathy, patience, selfishness, prayer and self-control. These are just a few things that I know are my weaknesses and I usually just accept them as a part of me but I think it's time that I begin to deal with them and try to be a better person. If I ever want to be in vocational ministry I need to become more well-rounded and not so stubborn in the face of my faults. Not sure if these things interest you but I wanted to share something other than my thoughts on the NBA.