Being vs. Doing

I met with Pastor Dan on Friday to catch up. We talked about life and ministry...it was a good chat. Something that came up was a discussion about the way I've been approaching my job at the church. I've come at it very much focused on meeting goals and proving myself by my performance. It's odd cuz that hasn't always been my style but I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to succeed...for my family and for my plans to have a career in ministry. In a lot of ways I feel like my lack of goal-orientedness was my downfall when I was interim at Lakeview. I was to busy just "being"...being a youth pastor, being a student, being a leaders of the youth leaders etc. I didn't focus enough on the doing. When speaking with Dan he pointed out that I was swaying more in the other direction. He said I was too focused on tasks and results and he was more intersted in me working at being. Being a strong Christian, being a good husband, being a good father, being a good staff member etc. This being vs doing thing is really "doing my head in". (pardon the British saying, I just finished watching an episode of Britain's Next Top Model) I understand both sides but it's so hard to strike the right balance. I guess that's why I have great people around me...for guidance and support. If I fall behind in either the Being or Doing there are people in my life, who I know care for me, that will help me get on track. And there is also this other great supporter of mine...GOD. He has my best interests in mind and I really feel that after years of struggling he's finally molding me into the grown man he wants me to be. I'm not saying I'm there yet but I really do feel confident that I have moments of maturity that weren't there before. I need to learn how to trust God's leading in my life and stop Being/Doing my own way. That's a lesson that is hard for most Christians and is especially hard for me. I am bit of a control freak...it's the only child thing. Anyways...in the next couple of weeks I plan to work on balancing the being and the doing.